Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and the ones would have unmade if I could. Even with the pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, and above.
Well things with the new guy have been like day and night. Shortly after I updated last we slowly stoped talking and things were suddenly weird between us. We don't have any type of communication or visitation for a week, and then he calls me on Sunday morning at 8 and says he's coming up. He arrives and we talk for a little and its like we're friends again, so he asks to borrow my iPod because he is leaving for the beach later that day. I give it to him, wish him a fun, enjoyable trip and send him on his way. While he's at the beach I call him to vent about some family crisis' and thats it. He comes home after a week and calls me a few days later and says he'll be at my house in 2 minutes. I find this a little irratating. He gets there and I am unpacking and he asks if I'm mad at him, and being totally honest I told him what exactly I was feeling, " You have no common decency to call me, and then you just show up at my house one night and expect everything to be 'okay' between us. As though the stuff from our past had just vaporated and we were still 'just friends', as though you didn't talk for 2 weeks?" Him, being a man, after all, blames the whole thing on me. Saying I'm the one that never called. I say oh well and just drop it. The next night I am in at the new appartment going over stuff with mom and the landlord and mom's boyfriend's son (who is the guy's bestfriend) is in with us.
I got to leave I'll finish later
